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Psion/Parapsychologist in skeptic's world-a blog/diary

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Joined: 02 Sep 2006
Posts: 25

PostPosted: Fri Sep 22, 2006 5:31 am    Post subject: Psion/Parapsychologist in skeptic's world-a blog/diary Reply with quote

Hey all. I'm not quite sure if this is allowed, but I'm too poor to buy a real blog, and this will give me a place to vent and get other people's feedback. Anywho, if the moderators approve, I'm creating this as my current blog, sharing my haps and telling my story of how my approach to parapsych and more alternative beliefs and ways of study have been reacted to by society. If any1 here wants to interject their opinions, feel free to do so, perhaps you could provide solutions to the problems I face.
Anyway, here's my first entry to start it off. I'll try to write in it daily or every other day to keep everyone posted...

Sept. 21,

Today was a rather interesting mix. My past few days have been some of the greatest trouble, deciding my future mainly, and parapsychology was only one aspect of the mix. Firstly, yesterday, my grandparents AGAIN, mention that they're concerned about my choice of material. Yes, I have already failed two science courses, but I spent the summer reviewing my chemistry, and I'm doing all right now. They still can't see that what I want is to pursue science in the hopes of getting into politics, and creating a more enlightened system of government, hoping to use informed knowledge of all groups to be able to create a better system. And yes, I know I'll have to learn more about the political system. But still... and besides, there are other reasons for my wanting to take science. I'm still determined to get that research project off the ground for intersecting quantum mechanics and ESP phenomena, and the only way to do that is to go through quantum chemistry. Of course, I tell them this, and though they believe it's possible, what is the one thing my grandfather says? "You won't make any money doing that." And they tell me to pursue my interests. And they keep forgetting that I can't take the Quantum Chemistry Course I need, if I don't have the background to understand what they're talking about.

There's one other reason I didn't tell them why science was so necessary. If religion is a major basis of everyone's culture, then spirituality and therefore parapsychology to a certain extent, play a role in that unity coming together. Yes, I agree with my grandparents that anthropology would be a great help to me for that, but I just wish they'd back off for a minute. Well, at least my grandmother did exactly that. I got a phone call earlier today her telling me that I had a counselling appointment set for next week to talk to a professional about deciding my future, so at least it's objective. Go figure. My family always knows that way.

Though what's funny about it, is that today, I realized the biggest root of all my interests. It hit me when I was doing dishes, and reminding myself why I hate being back in my home town. I get itchy feet. I was raised from a science family and having been taken on a sailing trip around the world. So, I want to explore the world. Human interaction, the nature of the universe, intersection between this and higher order dimensions, the list goes on... The only times I feel at peace, are when I've meditated, and found inner calm, when I'm travelling, or when I have my nose in a book. I seek to know and understand. And I'm still trying to understand the flow of life. Entering Zen in any situation. If I had learned what it was by now, I would have attained enlightenment, and been content with my lot long ago, which is about my view of life half the time. The problem still remains, that living in this world, there is so much pressure, I didn't even have a chance to meditate and return to my center today. So as a result, I look after my nephews and niece and all, KNOWING I'm off my center, and I haven't even had a chance to activate my psi for what is necessary, and had barely any chance to get my chemistry done. I need to learn detachment. But I have learned one valuable lesson in all of this search. I live in this world with an unusual curse. I need constant meditation to maintain perspective; to be able to function in almost that Zen-like understanding. Without a trace back to my source, I get caught up in the pressures of the world, and unlike my aikido and meditation training have taught me, to keep centered so I can blend with all the waves and tumult of the world, I get swept along with it anyway, but I'm so off balance I end up getting stressed and hurt in the process, and I end up hurting others too because I'm not in control of myself. In the meantime, I'm going to return to my aikido lessons as much as possible, and learn to let go more. I'm also going to continue my understanding of how to flow with and manipulate time. Hopefully then, I can create temporal null zones for just enough time to regain that center, and I won't have to access my psi capabilities to do it. Anyway, on with the search for enlightenment, and hopefully I'll find it in something like washing dishes. With the world as full of hate and pressure as it is, it's no wonder that the world is so skeptical of spirituality and parapsychology. My father today said that suffering and strife and hatred are everywhere as they're "part of the human condition."

I don't buy that. I think it is the condition of this world, and the way that most of the animal kingdom works. Humans are spiritual creatures, and the true underlying capability of humans is to love. Hate and obsession are but misguided twists of human nature. That love, love, flow, peace and understanding. Those, are the human condition.
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Joined: 02 Sep 2006
Posts: 25

PostPosted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 5:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sept. 22,

Today was a rather interesting mix. Things were more normal. Looks like the little flush of intense stress seems to have passed away. I finally got the breathing room to get my chem work completed and most of my lab work I can currently do out of the way. I did get around to teaching my nephews something about magic. Considering my older nephew is helping me in a magic show at the church tommorow, that's pretty good. I'm even about to run and conduct my remote viewing tests to make sure my psi is up when necessary to give that little extra oomph to my magic for when the skeptics role around. (Shouldn't be a problem though, this is a children's performance after all.) But it does get me wondering. Robert L. Forward once was known for his famous line of Indistinguishable From Magic, meaning that there was only science we couldn't understand. Thing is though, how does that apply to paranormal phenomena? Is it just like the skeptics say, nothing more than an advanced form of illusion/delusion? Or is there something more to it? Like say, Quantum Mechanics, or a time reversal/nonlocality mechanism on the macroscopic scale? Thing is, there's way too many studies for precognition and telepathy, and retropsychokinesis with statistically significant results, and ruling out pseudorandom biases and pattern guessing, for there to be absolutely nothing to it. Thing is, I can't help but wonder if alot of it is probabilistic. i.e., that the universe is more random than we give it credit for and that there is still alot that we don't understand. Quantum mechanics was proven to not work on classical physical laws/systems, and the Kaluza-Klein Experiments showed the possibility of a fifth dimension, not to mention non-locality having been proven for quantum entanglement. I know this has been all said in other posts already, and this has been discussed time and again, but it keeps me wondering, how much of this are we allowed in our daily lives? What determines how and when cold reading is used or why? Where does that border end between remote viewing and cold reading? Does anyone know? And who decides? Magicians? Scientists? Even ordinary people who just simply decide between readings and psychiatrists? And the biggest question for me for all, is what is the professional code of ethics for a psychic? Do you help them like a spiritual guide? Does it work like a priest or a higher calling? Or like a psychiatrist. Even the various religious orders have a certain training system to work through. Yet, though according to some meta-analyses paranormal studies have even larger effects than medical studies for stuff like aspirin, and higher significance, there is not a single body or group or training system to help psychics determine what is ethical counselling conduct, even though every other "publically recognized" profession, religion included, have a certain training and recognition system for professionals in their field. What constitutes a proper psychic code? Can it be used to entertain children? Is a psychic allowed regular business hours like a psychologist or priest? Or do they have such a closer connection that they have to be called at 10:00 at night? Should a client call, do they need to drop everything they are doing and help the client immediately? I had one such client who phoned me like that. Non-stop. They weren't even paying for my services. Here's another one? Should psychics even charge money? Or should they just peddle their gifts for the lowest price possible, even free, and do it at whatever hours the person calls? The only other profession I know of that follows that system is prostitution... Oh! It's almost as if we are expected to be at the beck and call of individual people. Thing is though, I'm willing to be at beck and call, but only to God. I'm a christian as well as a science student, and an eccumenical one at that, and someone once said that what I was doing wasn't psychic readings, it was ministry. That same person paid me, and I felt guilty about taking the money. More recently, I had one such client who called me at 10:00 at night when I was with my girlfriend. It nearly put such a strain on us, especially since the client was a woman, we nearly broke up over it. Thing is, I referred her away, considering that though I knew God had sent her, considering the timing when she answered my ad for my psychic service, that I had originally put my service up to gain money to fuel my job hunt, and she shows up after I have a job, I had given her the advice I was told to, and told her what I had sensed and had been told by God, and told her she was to take it and help solve her own life. Every other client I had been directed to by God at some point or other had. Thing is, she was a needy one this one. She kept calling at the worst possible times too. Eventually, I referred her away to someone I thought better. Perhaps there was something I was not being told she crucially needed. Then when my mentor said something different than I had, she called me up again, and I turned her away, because I realized she was pestering. The thing is though, in hind sight, I'm feeling guilty. I keep asking myself. Was she my charge? Was she a lesson in trying to go with the flow and self-sacrifice? Was I suppossed to help her? Was I right in doing what I did? That when I was being stressed and couldn't help her I referred her to someone I thought to be better than me? Or was I being selfish in that I wanted her off my back when I was trying to get my own life in order? Jeez. I'm already spinning it to make me sound like the victim. What is a professional code of conduct for a psychic? What is the right way to work? Can anyone answer me that? Even if it's my own future self writing in here, I'd very much like an answer. If you could lace the message with a telepathic link so I can pick it up some time in the past before I write it, that would be great. I almost am concerned sometimes. What is my destiny? What is it people need? What do they need that I can help with? What do they feel? The greatest difficulty is being socially inept on top of all this? My psychic capabilities and my connection to the higher power I keep feeling are teaching tools to help me get around my inborn weaknesses, but I keep wondering, the search for enlightenment, how do I flow with people to be more compassionate with them? What is the right way to go? Most skeptics' questions have always been self-interested about if psychics really existed, yet they accuse psychics of being frauds and doing the exact same thing anyway? How do we answer them? Studies aside, how do we answer the skeptics moral questions about our job? Why do skeptics even attack psychics' existence on moral questions when it should be on scientific data anyway? How does a psychic function in this world and help others, without being selfish when trying to heal? How does a student searching for inner peace and enlightenment find that moment in the world to reheal after having gotten swept up without pushing others away and being selfish? I've often thought that my inborn condition made me different in wanting to learn how to relate to others, and at the same time, keep to myself sometimes to heal, and the same so with my psychic abilities, putting us psychics in a class with everyone else, but I'm beginning to realize we're just as normal as everyone else, only with a slightly different point of view. We all want this same solace, otherwise, we wouldn't be visiting such people as psychiatrists, priests, and psychics. The true question is though, how to find that right balance both within oneself and without for and with others... or if the two aren't interchangeable? I originally started up this blog/diary yesterday to try to vent my inner stresses and sort some stuff out, giving my questions some answers. Yet all I do is answer my questions with even more puzzling questions....
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