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My own personal demon?

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Joined: 08 Feb 2005
Posts: 19

PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 8:13 am    Post subject: My own personal demon? Reply with quote

I read this post and please forgive me if I am posting this in the wrong place or something, I may post it on its own as well but I have wondered for a while now if I might not be harboring some kind of lesser demon. I have thoughts that I do not like, that do not seem to be mine. I am always having these thoughts and impulses that are dark, uncool. I feel like there is no future for me, forgive me for being a Harry Potter fan (despite the fact that I'm 2Cool, but if dementors were real I would swear I have one breathing down my neck.

I have had the very strange, incredibly realistic dream once when I was staying at my cousin's house, I was laying on the ground, it was a beautiful blue sky and I felt amazing, like really good. As I lay there I noticed a menacing smallish black cloud looming into view very quickly, the very sight of the cloud caused utter dread and fear, and as I watched the cloud suddenly came into me, it seemed to enter through my mouth, I felt it, very clearly shooting into me, into my chest, and once the horrible manifestation had completely been absorbed into my dream self, I awoke with a ridiculous start, scared out of my wits. I felt horrible, as if what had just happened in the dream had been real and I had truly been violated by some horrible thing. On reflection it is almost like something may have been reaffirming its hold on me or may have sensed that I was seeking help and decided to take its little charade to the next level.

The dream did not really seem significant as I was already having these feelings, thoughts, problems to an extent, until I was thinking about it just now after reading this post, see I had just opened up to my cousin about my life and how I felt like I was going nowhere fast, my cousin is a spiritual man and he agreed to help me, and he might have been able to do it. I have since broken off communication with my cousin and really everybody.

I am very rarely happy, indeed I feel that I cannot or should not allow myself to be happy, I am becoming bitter, I anger easily, all these things that you have touched upon in ypur post, which is what prompted me to post this response. For some reason I am almost scared out of my wits just posting this, I feel like I should not post it and such.

I hope maybe someone will read this who can help me determine if this is really what is going on or if I am just naturally unhappy and borderline psychotic. I have never hurt anyone but myself, but I have like this little voice in my head constantly telling me to hurt myself and more, I very rarely give in but lately it seems like it is getting stronger, or maybe I am getting weaker. Which is not to say that I am on the verge of doing anything drastic or anything like that, but I do have this constant voice telling me to do so.

I fear that maybe I have said too much? If you may be able to help in any way, let me know.
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Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 2:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I suffer from the same thing and I will tell you I turn 20 in a week or so and we have both come to be burnt by the same curse anyway there is unfortunantly no straight advice rather just exersize of the spirit and of the flesh.

You cannont get lazy and trust me I get lazy too but I feel we both have a great potential for the greastest of goods or the greatest of evils and that darkness is a reflection of how evil we could become if we get too weak and give up.

I feel this is true for both of us because of age, level of detailed description and symptoms so brother please remain strong and know that you could have an amazing life with bright blue skys if you suceed but if you fail darkness will be more abundant than the light.

May you be blessed by the supreme love and truth of the cosmos.
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Dawn of War

Joined: 21 Apr 2012
Posts: 8

PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 2:25 am    Post subject: Yeah Reply with quote

I believe everyone has their own personal demon.
Everyone needs there demon though, so it's not wise to completely constrict or banish your demon.
For example, my uncles demon lusts power and it's main power is Persuasion. He temporarily had a job of selling credit cards, which tend to be extremely hard to sell. He managed to sell around 6 an hour, which is actually quite incredible. He sells on Ebay and has had many Sales jobs that he has all succeeded in.

In my case, however, my demon lusts strength and political power. I have a compulsion to be better than everyone else and to always be at the top. This gives me extreme ambition, which is why i'm one of the best on my school track team. Everyone needs their demons.

However, I find that many people feed their demon way to much. If you give your demon too much power over you, it will probably take advantage of it. My demon is extremely intelligent and partially knows this. What you need to tell your demon if it trys to overpower you though, is that it cannot do anything without you. It can try to flow it's power through you without your permission, but it won't work. Your demon needs to know that without your consent and ability to do something, it will succeed in nothing.

People's demons can be ignorant from what I can tell, and unless you can teach it, it won't learn.

Just know that you are more powerful than your demon. Your demon is nothing without you. It's a boat and your it's captain. NEVER NAME YOUR DEMON>>>> Names have extreme power in them.

Apologies if this is somewhat off topic as I didn't really read the thread lol, but this is still partially helpful information Smile
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Joined: 29 Jan 2012
Posts: 192
Location: Over the rainbow

PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 4:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

what demons are is a up to each person. what demons are capable of is also up to each person. i take the stance that demons are the manifestation of our fears, and thus, that they have something of value to teach us. on a personal note, whenever i've confronted my demons, they've lost their hold over me. they exist now only as a choice. the demons of other people, i am often not even aware that such a demon existed. all experience is subjective, even that which is said to be objective. one of the best anti-black magick spells is laughter. laugh heartily at your demons and they'll dissolve. remember though, this is just my perspective and may or may not work for you. good luck Smile
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Joined: 14 Mar 2011
Posts: 46
Location: Alaska, USA

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 12:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

In the context you all are presenting demons in, I suppose my demon is one of nihilistic destruction. I have a tendency to dissociate from the status quo and enjoy eccentricities in myself and friends. My demon is the negative manifestation of this desire to break from the "normal". It's the part of me that instead of striving for confidence and independence from social norms, attacks society, ethics and morality. I would call it a sort of representation of the phrase, "F***K EVERYTHING".

Before I was really conscious of its existence, it led me down some dark roads. From rationalizing stealing to be acceptable, to using psychic seduction even though I knew it was immoral, again by rationalizing it to me.

Of course, this demon is simply a symbol of my own potential for negative thoughts and actions.
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