anonygeek
Joined: 18 Aug 2008
Posts: 1
|
 Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:09 am Post subject: A little help? |
 |
|
DISCLAIMER: I know I'm new here, but I assure you this is sincere. It was prepared beforehand, and something identical or similar may appear on other message boards. I will only post it once.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
I am lost. I am blind. My heart seeks more, yet I cannot find it. I'm trapped behind a wall - a wall of insecurity, skepticism, and distrust. I know there is more out there, but I cannot see it, smell it, feel it, hear it, taste it, or imagine it. I am tired.
I've been through a lot of personally traumatic events in my life, and have constructed a thick wall of self-defense. The wall protects my heart, though perhaps too much; I rarely feel emotion unless it's very strong. The only emotion I feel with little inhibition is empathy/sympathy, but I can rarely bring it to action. My brain rationalizes and analyzes until the situation is devoid of interest.
I know there's more - I don't know how I know, but I feel it. I just want to be able to open my eyes and see what's there. I want to see what very few people in this world see. I know there's more.
I can't bring myself to tear down the wall. Every hole I open is soon patched closed again. I'm sure if I were to look over this text tomorrow, I would find it ridiculous.
I don't do drugs, I rarely drink. I'm a normal person, and maybe that's the problem.
I want to break free, but I don't know how. I want someone to lead me to freedom, but I fear that should I encounter such a guide, my skepticism and distrust will overrule. I'm an extremely guarded person. This feeling has persisted regularly, and is becoming unbearable. Soon, I'll go back to ignoring it until the time comes when it breaks free again.
You now have a summary of 'me'. Can anyone help? |
|
FAQ
Refer A Friend
Search
Usergroups
Register
Subscription
Transactions
Log in to check your private messages
