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Inner struggle



 
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stardom



Joined: 05 May 2008
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2008 11:53 am    Post subject: Inner struggle Reply with quote

Hey all, I was born in 15/11/1976 and I was wondering if you can help me identify the source of an issue I have:
It all started when my cat and rabbit died in the same month, I knew something is wrong with them a month before they died, because their aura felt week…
I took them to the vet who ran a series of tests and told me they are healthy, one day the cat died and the rabbit died a week after.
I was feeling so guilty that I couldn't save them, and I felt like I couldn't trust the universe to protect us anymore!
since then it's hard for me to relax and Feel happy and free , I seem to stop myself from being happy , I dramatize everything and I keep questioning myself and my motives , I try to keep life under control, and be on guard from disease and death .
it takes all my energy away and as a result I feel heavy.

It's against my authentic nature to act like this, but I cant seem
to stop acting this way …
What is driven me to act this way, what do I gain from being that scared and heavy?
How can I return to be me again?

Can you help me find the answer?
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CJ



Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Posts: 140
Location: Middletown, Connecticut

PostPosted: Fri May 09, 2008 12:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

For now, it is unimportant why you feel this way. Focus only on feeling better. Just lie down, and try to close off your mind from the world around you. Imagine a large open chest appearing in front of you. Take all of your thoughts and emotions, and place them in this chest. Now, take each negative thought or feeling, and examine it. Understand why you felt that way and how you can change. Now, strip away the emotion in that thought, and allow it to drift away. Go through each of the major problems like this until you feel better. Understand that everything is part of a cycle. Do not be sad that your pets died, for all that lives must die. Instead, be happy that they lived, and left with you precious memories. Never stop enjoying life and being happy. To do otherwise is to embrace death, and by embracing death all else loses value.
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Walms



Joined: 04 May 2008
Posts: 18
Location: México

PostPosted: Fri May 09, 2008 10:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Interesting, I passed by that when child, I decided to get rid of that, since I knew that being afraid wouldn't do any good, well, thats what I knew, then I started to study the thing and realised that being scared isn't "bad" neither "good" as so is for being sad. I just got to the conclusion that bein in the state is only bad when you don't fight/use it, as the old and classic "the brave isn't the one who don't have fears but the one who fight them" So I decided to use them in order to overcome it, and so I got to my "true" nature, I left love/fear/sad/happy/other feelings, and went to emotionless... but that were just as bad as depression for me, so I got myself into hate, wich I has been in for a long time. Just find the one that fits you better, and get along with it, you don't have to leave everything else, its all your decision, but instead of get defeated by them use them as tools, as a part of yours. Well thats my tought.
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stardom



Joined: 05 May 2008
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Sun May 11, 2008 10:10 pm    Post subject: i will try Reply with quote

Thank you , I will try my best to do what you advised.
I really forgot to embrace life when I was in fear of death ,
I have a low energy level ,and I'm afraid to help or embrace other pets
so they wont die on me too,.

it's been a long long time since I had a good night sleep
I should stop blaming myself for knowing the pets will die , and I should choose relaxation and happiness instead .

I guess my anxiety thoughts of destruction is just my brain way to make me "get used to the evil stuff " so I wont be surprised in the future because the feelings I have are so painful , that if I'll face the feelings again I'll be in trauma .

Well I should push myself back to the living , scared of death but embracing life .
What do you think?
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